Archive for the ‘regular’ Category

If Mordor hired the TSA, Frodo would have been f***ed

Saturday, November 20th, 2010

With all the fuss about TSA’s new body scans, how can a comedy not make fun of the TSA. After last weeks 17 Apocalypses We’ll Never See Coming Cracked charged me with making a picture on how the TSA could be more invasive. Unfortunately this is really hard to do. Usually there are 15 or so pages of entries, however this contest so far only has 7. So hopefully this will make me more likely to win. Hooray. I first looked at other entries to see if my idea wasn’t taken (it wasn’t) so I wouldn’t look like a poser, I found this picture, which fits with my obsession.

That thing on his hand is the Fing-Longer. I thought it was funny, since Futurama is my obsession. Thank You Scarin for brightening up my day.

Now onto my actual photo shop work. I got three pictures. One was for Cracked, and two were for Lindsey who on my last post (Assignment 11.1 Futurama Fan Fiction) gave me an assignment. More on that later. First up, my entry:

This was really easy, I just took Youtube’s logo, and painted over “tube” and “broadcast yourself” and entered “Porn” and “live feed.” This was difficult to make new jokes about the TSA, but this was sooooo easy, so I did it. Now onto the more interesting Lindsey’s project.

On my Last post, Lindsey posted this:

“Braden, I would like to take you up on the offer that you put out there when we started our projects.  Do you think you could photoshop a plain white tee onto Gollum for me?Email me through my UMW mail if you want to talk to me about it.”

She then sent me a link to a picture of Gollum:

She basically wanted to have Gollum to have a t-shirt that said “my friends went to Mordor and all I got was this lousy t-shirt. We talked back and fourth and also decided to do a Sam because he was an awesome friend Frodo, never complained, and Frodo complained about wearing a ring, WHICH SAM OFFERED TO CARRY. (those are my opinions). I started off with Sam’s t-shirt, because the picture I found of him was pretty strait forward. The following are the stock photos I got off Google.

First I cut out the white background, which was harder than it sounds because Photo Shop wanted to take out a huge chunk of the shirt also. In the end, wherever the magic wand tool failed, the lasso tool worked. The shirt got shrunk later, so it doesn’t matter. I then took out the Foam logo and filled it in with a Grey from the t-shirt. Unfortunately I still had a big square of gray that didn’t look natural, so I used the band aid tool to make it look more natural. I then added in the text,and gave it a below arch, so it would look more rounded, instead of just flat. I then deleted the back tag, and put the whole shirt onto the Sam/Frodo picture and fit it over Sam. However, the right sleeve was covering Sam’s hand/walking stick, so I separated that from the rest of the shirt, warped and rotated it, then put it back in place over Sam’s arm. I had this:

I just noticed that Sam’s and Frodo’s expression make Frodo look like a total jerk.

For the Gollum I gave the same shirt the same treatment and posted it on the Gollum photo above. Next I messed with the perspective of the shirt on so it was smaller and would cover his torso and upper arms. I was going to cut the shirt so his leg could show through, but it would have cut through too much of the shirt and it looked fine as it is. I then cut off a little of his collar to get his chin in. I thus have this:

If anyone else wants me to photo shop something, then please tell me soon, the offer is closing fast.

Assignment 1.1: Futurama Fan Fiction

Wednesday, November 17th, 2010

I am a HUGE fan of Futurama. I got excited when I saw a Dr. Zoidberg Costume (not the one I saw) at the Stewart/Colbert rally, I signed the petition to bring it back,  and told someone to “bite my shiny metal ass” over the phone (i actually did that, he replied with “bite my glorious golden ass” argument ended there). I like how the creators mix many types of humor together, sometimes in the same scene. For example when Fry asks Farnsworth about the ethics of stem cells, Farnsworth replies “In your time, yes [stem cells are controversial]. But nowadays, shut up! (logical fallacy) Besides, these are adult stem cells, harvested from perfectly healthy adults whom I killed for their stem cells.(dark)” I like how anyone could watch any episode in any order, but there is still a loose over plot. I like how in one episode a character can be extremely round, while in the next, flat. For example in many episodes, Fry is just the simple fool character: “It’s just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns and also he got a racecar. Is any of this getting through to you?” Yet in other episodes,he attempts to overcome his stupidity to pursue love (see The Devil’s Hands are Idle Play Things.) the following is a list of a few major characters.

Phillip J. Fry

Philip J. Fry is the main character. At Midnight January 1, 2000 he is frozen to New Years eve 2999. (by the way, whenever I highlight an episode, it goes to the wikipedia page, to see the episodes, click the first hyperlink). Ever since he has been working at his great great great… great great great nephew’s package delivery service Planet Express as a delivery boy. While he is stupid loser (see above) he does show love, loyalty, and devotion.  Because he is from the first ten seconds of the 21st century, he does not understand everything withing the Futurama universe. For example:

Fry: Well you two may be losers, but I just made out with that Radiator girl from the Radiator planet.
Leela: Fry, that was a radiator.
Fry: [pause] Is there a burn ward within 10 feet of here?

Because of this lack of knowledge of the futuristic world, he is the everyman character that the viewer can sympathize with.

Bender Bending Rodríguez

Bender is Fry’s best friend. Made in Mexico with a defective back up chip (making him one of the only mortal robots). His fuel cells are powered by alcohol, so he needs to drink a lot otherwise he will get “sober” (like humans getting drunk. see “Insane in the mainframe”) Bender is narcissistic, criminal, and an overall bad influence with his catch phrase “Bite my shiny metal ass.” Although he is generally abusive towards fry, he does show some compassion towards him. “All those times I said ‘Kill all humans, I always whispered ‘except one.’ Fry was that one.”

Turanga Leela

Leela is one of the first characters Fry meets when arrives in 2999. She eventually becomes the captain of the Planet Express ship. She and Fry have this weird relationship, where he loves her and she loves him, but he is WAY below her, so initially she rejects him. Initially everyone thinks that she is from a different planet, but it is eventually reveled that that is false (see Leela’s Homeworld). She is like what would have happened if Captian Kirk was a woman. Even though she and Fry get married and divorced, currently they are dating.

Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth

Hubert Farnsworth is Fry’s 160 year old 30x great nephew (when trying to look sane, he will say “ask my uncle” and point to fry, which never helps). He is a mad scientist and owns Planet Express to cover the costs of his experiments. He is a mixture of mad scientist, senile old man, and is a professor of Mars University (teaching only the mathematics of quantum neutrino fields, he made it up so no one would take it).

I totally wanted to do more characters, but I couldn’t choose which one, and this was taking a long time, so I decided to stop it here, feel free to post any bios you want seen in here, and I will gladly cite and post them. It is a very awesome show, and I want to do more, but who do I do? If I put in Zap Brannigan, I have to put in Kif, then I have to put in Amy Wong, then her parents, If I do families, then I have to do the Yancy Fry, and their parents. If I did that, then I have to add in Zoidberg, Hermes, and WORNSTRUM. It would be a slippery slope, and I would stay up all night typing bios.


Thursday, November 4th, 2010

This is the movie made by me, Ashley and Sarah. Enjoy

Experimenting with embeding

Tuesday, November 2nd, 2010

because Universal is run by a bunch of @$$holes, I couldn’t embed MY videos onto MY blog. So I am going to embed this mash up of Starwars and Futruama.


Friday, October 29th, 2010

This is my favorite Kung Fu movie because of the way that Jet Li fights.

Unleashed part 1/2

Unleashed part 2/2

Some digital photos.

Thursday, October 28th, 2010

Ok, so I just got access to photo shop in Dupont hall. I just made something for the Colbert/Steward rally. If you don’t guess side I’m on, YOU ARE GOING TO DIE A LONG HORRIBLE DEATH THAT INVOLVE SNAKES AND RABID FERAL CATS!!!!!!!!!

Another picture is one of a partial screen shot. On a mac, you press Command+Shift+3 for a full screen shot, and 4 for a partial. The following is a piece of spam that was so dumb, it is just funny. It was on an old post, New Day, New Photo, which is my photo of my watch in a mirror. This is the “comment.”

How dumb do you think I am? How can you agree with a watch in a mirror?  How can you search for more information? What political statement do you think I am trying to make? But here is the great part, that link, it goes to GOOGLE Mexico. WHAT? That is a non-sequitur if I have every saw one. That is like hearing the joke

“What do you call nine lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?”, answering “to get to the other side” at a mass in France. Congratulations Mr. Cobb, you are an idiot.

Dear Anti-Smokers

Wednesday, October 20th, 2010

The other day I was walking around when I heard this person coughing up a lung. Concerned I put my shirt over my nose and mouth,  went over to her, and offered to call 911 and/or the CDC.  I also asked her if she had any other symptoms such as sneezing, coughing blood etc.  She said that she was “suffering from second hand smoke” and pointed to a guy TEN FEET AWAY smoking a cigarette. From there I diagnosed her with bitchitis. Cure: explain to her that she almost caused a false class 3 epidemic, and call her a dramaqueen.

Before I continue with my tirade, I must say, that I’m not an active smoker. I will occasionally smoke a cigar but those are mostly for celebratory or relaxation purposes. I also agree that tobacco companies shouldn’t put ads on Cartoonnetwork, or that people shouldn’t smoke in restaurants, but I think that the Anti-Smoking campaign has gone too far.

First, as I mentioned above,  for the people who do that stupid cough every time you pass a person who smokes. If that cough is real, SEE A FUCKING DOCTOR. It is not normal to cough whenever you smell a little tobacco smoke. If you are faking that cough, stop being a winy drama queen and get a life. I don’t care if it smells bad, be thankful we live in a time where people don’t fling their shit into the streets.

Second, for the people who want to ban smoking in bars: bars aren’t meant to be healthy. You don’t come out of a bar thinking you are getting in better shape. If you want to be healthy, go to a gym, spa, or health store, not a bar. Bars serve alcoholic beverages, alcohol kills your liver and brain cells, it doesn’t make them stronger. The healthiest thing you can get at a bar is celery, but you have to get it with a Bloody Mary, or buffalo wings. Guess what, they have more health negatives than that stalk of celery has positives. Let the bartender allow or ban smoking to his/her pleasure, it’s their bar, their rules.

Third, for the people who want to ban smoking in movies: guess what, a lot of smokers are villains. Stop wining, Hollywood is helping your cause.

Fourth, and last, for the people who want to legalize marijuana and make cigarettes illegal: stop being a hypocrite, you hippie.


Monday, October 11th, 2010

As many of you  Simpsons fans know, there was a highly controvirsal couch opening done by Banksy depicting Chinese labor. I am a big fan of Matt Groening’s works including Futurama. While The Simpsons quality has been declining, this is not about the show in general. It is actually about Banksy, an unknown graffiti artist. Before watching the latest episode, I never knew of him, but I have seen his work. From what I have seen on Wikipedia, and Google, I have to say it is really interesting on how he tries to make the painting look like it is real. For example, he painted someone removing graffiti I think it is ironic because it is graffiti. I started following him on twitter, and will start following his blog.

Dear Spammers, Hackers and Virus Makers

Sunday, October 3rd, 2010

Dear Spammers,

I don’t know how you found my website, but stop spamming the comments. I read them, and know the difference between an informed reply, and a 6-year-old selling genitalia enlargement products. You sound like a moron, and I personally wouldn’t trust you to clip my toenails let alone touch my “bect frend.” You are morons, learn how to write ENGLISH, get a real job, and stop bothering those of us who are trying to be intelligent on the internet.



Dear Hackers and Virus Makers,

Can you PLEASE bring down Viagra’s computers?



New photo

Friday, September 24th, 2010